Yáng Yuǎn Zhì (adudeabides) wrote in innaughtwetrust,
Yáng Yuǎn Zhì

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This doesn't help matters...

For whatever reason, I have trouble trusting the sincerity of my significant other. It's nothing against her, personally. I believe she wants what's best for our relationship, but sometimes she does things that really set me back in the trust department.


I found an e-mail in her inbox that, in my mind, had an uncomfortable familiarity to it...that shouldn't have been there. There was nothing major to the e-mail...he was just answering an apparant 'how are you' question from her. I asked her about it. She said it was a guy in Chicago who she'd known for awhile and was trying to avoid.

How are you trying to avoid him if you asked him a question...one that would solicit a response? And, answering e-mails is not trying to avoid him...we've talked about this guy and you've always told me you were avoiding him.

Well, in her mind, answering an e-mail from him every few months is avoiding him, because the contact isn't any more frequent and she doesn't initiate. And, she says she does it because she has concerns about her safety if she ignores him. While I have concerns about her safety too, she insists that this is none of my business. None.

Regardless of what she thinks, her safety is my concern. But, the part that upset me was they lying - intentional or not - about contact with him. And, we've discussed this situation in-depth at least 3 times in our realtionship, so she's had ample opportunity to mention the e-mails...which are a different matter than him IM-ing once in awhile...especially when you solicit further e-mails (which is exactly what questions do). Yet, she's never mentioned them.

I believe it to be an innocent mistake/misunderstanding. I want to believe that. But, deep inside I'm still wrestling with that. I hope that gets straightened out sometime soon. I really do. :$
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